Oh the joys of kids! Diapers, puke, spills, scrapes, tears, screaming, sleep less nights and of course the never-ending supply of toys! I know most gift-givers mean well, but I thought I’d put together a handy little guide as to the most annoying gift you can get for another person’s child. Rest assured most of us parents would not buy any of these items for our own kids. We’ve been there, done that.
For those of you who hate the annoying things your parents and child-less friends buy your kids, pass this along to them. For those of you looking at a way of paying back your best friend who got your two-year old a drum set, enjoy!
Play Doh/Moon Dough: Fun to play with. For hours on end. Cheap too, however have you ever tried to get Play Doh out of carpet? Near impossible! They let it dry and it turns into a crumbly mess that sticks to kid’s (and parents) socks and tracks through out the house. Some parents get anxiety attacks when their kids mix the colours together, I ignore the multi-coloured creations now.
Marbles: Have you ever stepped on a marble in the night? Ouch! Also, I had no idea despite the fact they are made of glass those things can shatter. That’s right, I said shatter. My then three-year old was rolling marbles down our tiled hallway, causing all kinds of loud noise and one shattered when it hit the wall at the other end. Any time I find one of those stupid things, I toss it out!
Puzzles: Obviously a wonderful educational activity, unless your kids like to scramble multiple puzzles together “for fun” and then there’s that lost piece you don’t even find when you move…
Glitter: I read once that glitter is the herpes of all craft supplies. Absolutely agree. You may think it’s gone, but it never is, really. One day you’ll go out with glitter in your eyebrows and no one will tell you. Oh, but they sure noticed!
Lego: Again another awesome educational toy, but comes in a zillion tiny pieces. My friend spent the four days after Christmas assembling some mega set her son got, only to have him destroy it in under a minute. My bare feet curse those itty bitty pieces that seem to be useless except at hiding in carpet.
Finger paints & non-washable markers: Yeah dumb idea. Enough said.
Little girl hair accessories: Now THIS may seem like a great idea for your friend’ four-year-old. But I guarantee you, she has about a million little barrettes, hair elastics, head bands and tiny clips that she never really wears. I find these things every where, and only rarely in my kid’s hair. (And that’s only when they put a whole package in their hair at once.)
Little girl make-up: Ugh I still can’t believe they actually market make up to little girls. Don’t even get me started on some of the questionable outfits they sell for kids these days! Yes, I “may” have recently bought my friend’s five-year-old make-up for her birthday, but that was only in pay back for her buying my daughter a case of make-up when she turned five. (sorry Katie!)
Nail polish: I love/hate nail polish. I used to love putting it on myself and my youngest daughter’s fingers and toes. However, due to too many spills, nail polish has been banned in our house since last summer. Our less than a year old table was ruined by a spill of nail adhesive by our oldest and her friend, the light grey grout in my kitchen is permanently stained by a bottle of red that was dropped not long after we moved in.
Sand boxes: Hours of fun for kids, hours upon hours of endless sweeping. Actually, it reminds me of glitter the way it tracks though the house…
Beads: If you want to see my husband freak out, drop a single bead onto a hard surface. He HATES beads. A friend once bought my kids a thousand piece bead set. That they knocked off the ding room table. We found them for weeks, because they rolled in every direction, under the fridge, down the registers, under the sofa and somehow even under the area rug. Then the cats helped by batting the ones we missed around the house at night and moving them to all the floors in our house.